Handwritten Poetry

When I'm at my lowest, I write.  When I'm at my highest, I write.  When I'm dead inside I can't seem to find the words, but when I can, I write.  I was looking through my computer and found some of these that I wrote when I had the words.

The redundancies of life

make things so slow

so quiet

so normal

I forget how real these colors are

how strong these feelings are

Just stop and just be

just be who we were meant to be

and you'll remember

the butterflies, the goosebumps

all the tingles that tickle your spine

Take a little trip to a new place

just to remind me of how much love means

between you and me

I was an artsy little hippie chick

with dreams and chipped nail polish

you were the popular frat boy

with a huge education

and we wanted more than just

a white picket fence

So we remember to dream

we remember to laugh and touch

little kisses here and there

like every day we are new lovers

once again

young again

fresh again

and I am not going to be 

redundant

at least not with you.

-----

My eyes are wet

my hands are cold

I know the salt I taste

so familiar

So is this hole

the same one

I've climbed out of

so many times

My passion is stifled

my heart is still beating

but I feel less alive

I can't daydream the same

The sheets and pillows

look so inviting

the mattress calls my name

sleep is my escape

But I lie awake

every night

it's like I'm all confused

mind, body, and soul

Cloudy, shaken, lost

A shell of who I really am

looking for my insides

that have left me behind

Dropping to my knees

wanting to feel

wanting to dream in rich colors

taste the life I should be living

I give it up to you

I give it all away

I give the control

I give you my fear

So empty

wanting to receive

what you have

just for me

One day at a time

ready for what's there

from you

just for me

I trust you 

I know you love me so

your plan is all I need

and I need it

I need you.

I want to throw it all away

Be just you and me

nothing but nothing

simplicity

------

All I want to do

is feel alive

so alive

that I can't stop dancing

I can't stop singing

I can't be kept silent

I don't want to be held down

and it is in my power

to not let that happen

so I will always be up

stay up

let God lift me up

let God hold me up

-----

I don't always know

who I am

or where I am

supposed to go

I want honesty

with myself

I want honesty 

with you

I don't always know

what is true

to even be able

to tell you

I feel so different

but the same

and I don't want to be

the same

as everybody else

I want to be

the individual

you made me to be